Careless
by margerykempe
Summary: TW: suicide. One shot? "Eun Sang wouldn't show him any fear—she was no longer afraid."


Eun Sang could see that sunbae was well-versed in the art of rejection.

The way he grinned after making a sharp, biting remark made it clear that he wasn't sorry about anything he said. He knew exactly what he was doing when he consumed one of his ever present ginseng packets, the medicine staining his lips, drawing attention to his perfectly formed mouth.

He teased the girls (and the occasional boy) and then hurt them with his dismissal.

She knew he was hiding something.

She knew because she was hiding something too.

He was very angry—very sad. He was careless with himself and others. Those who followed him around didn't seem to mind—anything to be close to sunbae, even for just a moment.

Eun Sang felt the same way.

She watched quietly as he dismissed another girl, her face red as she turned away from him, her offering and her proposal roundly rejected with a broad smirk. The girl slunk away, knowing she was defeated.

He must have felt her gaze—they locked eyes and she felt the intensity of his stare from across the room. She broke the contact and looked down, but it was too late. When she dared to look up again, she saw that he stood directly across from her. The wood of the study room table was all that separated them. They were alone in the room.

The thrill of the moment stole up her spine. It was quickly replaced with wariness—he had a secret and that made him dangerous.

He placed both hands on the table and leaned in. "You seem very interested in my business, Cha Eun Sang." His voice mocked her.

"No, sunbae."

"Are you sure? Because I could feel your eyes on me the whole time. Do you feel sorry for her? Was I too harsh?" His expression was pleasant but his words were barbed.

Eun Sang knew she had to chose her words carefully. "I'm sure I don't know, sunbae."

He bent his knees so that his face was nearly level with the table, his chin resting on his hands as his face became a perfectly composed bland mask. The transformation raised the hair on the back of her neck—she was in danger now. "I think you have something to say and I'd like you to say it." He smiled his beautiful smile and she shivered.

The time for silence had passed.

"You're hiding yourself away." She met his eyes as she spoke and her heart leapt when she saw a slight crack in his facade.

His beautiful smile remained, but his voice was dangerously soft. "Don't be ridiculous."

She dared to push him further. "You're broken."

He stood up suddenly and strode over to her, grabbing her wrist and yanking her into a standing position. He took a hold of her chin and tipped her head back, forcing her to look up at him. "What are you talking about?" he demanded, all pretense gone.

"How did you do it? Overdose? Did you cut yourself?" Her fingers itched to pull at the cuff of his shirt—to expose the secrets that might be hidden beneath.

His face was a blank—so expressionless that Eun Sang was frightened.

She reveled in the sensation of pain as his hand tightened on her wrist. "How did you find out?"

"I just knew."

He grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her back against the wall, pinning her in place. "Who told you?" he demanded.

She didn't speak as she unbuttoned the cuff of her uniform shirt, rolling it back to expose her own secret. Silently, she held up her wrist, exposing the ropey scars that she worked so hard to hide. "I just knew," she repeated.

He stared at her wrist for a moment, then moved his hand to trace the lines and ridges of the damaged tissue.

Eun Sang shuddered at the contact.

Gently this time, he wrapped his hand around her wrist and raised it to his mouth. He placed soft kisses and she felt his tongue dart out and taste her skin. She inhaled sharply at the sensation and he stopped suddenly, dropping her wrist and stepping back.

His eyes were conflicted—confused. Eun Sang could see that he felt vulnerable and she knew how dangerous that could be for him—for both of them.

She stepped forward, reaching cautiously for his wrist. He shook her hand off, turning away from her.

Her heart dropped.

He was rejecting her too.

From the haze of her despair, she heard him speak softly. "Overdose. I didn't want to feel any pain."

"So you hurt other people instead?"

"I— It's better than hurting myself," he responded defiantly.

"Yes." She could tell that her response surprised him.

"Oh, you think so?" His tone was playful, belying his next words. "Are you volunteering to be next?"

"Yes."

This time his surprise was tinged with anger. "You don't understand what you're saying."

She gave him a small smile and held up her wrist again. "Don't I?

He regarded her for a long moment, then gripped her chin again, his eyes meeting hers. The look he gave her was a warning and a plea. Eun Sang wouldn't show him any fear—she was no longer afraid.

Releasing her chin, he reached into the pocket of his school blazer and pulled out a ginseng packet, tearing it open and sucking out the medicine. His stained lips gave her a predatory smirk.

"Come with me," he ordered, before grabbing her hand in a painfully tight grip, pulling him behind her. She stumbled slightly and he tugged at her, forcing her to stay upright as he strode to the door. "Keep up with me, or I'll leave you behind."

Eun Sang smiled at his back. It would all be worth it.

Anything to be close to sunbae.


End file.
